| Thursday, August 05, 2010 - OHS Re-Entry 2 | link to this entry | I finally had my second re-entry group but it was not without some unexpected hoops.
After filling out the transfer paperwork (which was just one page) they said that the main office would be contacting me within a week to schedule my next re-entry group. After about 10 days went by with no call, I decided to call them myself. When I related to them what I was told, they responded with, "Uh, no, that's not how it works."
We set up an appointment for them to call back a few days later once they could get a hold of my file. Okay, no problem.
They called as scheduled and then proceeded make an appointment for my orientation.
"Uhh, orientation? I'm almost done with the program. Why do I need another orientation?"
"We need a separate file for you for this office."
"But you have all my info and I already know how everything works."
"It's required by the state."
Fucking bullshit. I don't think I've written about the orientation on here but it's brutal. It's 4 hours of filling out paperwork at a snail's pace and watching an orientation video. The paperwork isn't that complicated but since it's a mix of intelligent people, average people, and ghetto retards they have to handhold everyone through the process and move at the pace of the slowest person. So for anyone with half a brain or more you're basically just sitting there most of the time wishing you could stab the eyes of the person who just asked, "Where it says 'Days Jail Time', does that mean how many days of jail time you got?" (I swear that was actually asked.)
There was no alternative so I scheduled the orientation for a Saturday morning a couple weeks later.
The orientation was, of course, slow and painful. I had to repeat 3 or 4 times that I wasn't new to the program and was transferring from another office. 4.5 hours later I was one of the last people to leave but finally had my next re-entry group scheduled.
The day before my 2nd re-entry group I got a bill in the mail for $100. But I also had a credit for $75 so the net amount due was $25. This confused me since I paid off the program in May and at the orientation they said they would be waiving the transfer fee. On a side note, the transfer fee is actually $70 to transfer out of one office, and $40 to transfer into the other office.
I got to the Oakland office early to ask about the bill. The guy at the front desk (where they normally handle payments) referred me to one of the finance people in the back. After a 10 minute conversation with her that basically amounted to her telling me she doesn't know why I'm being charged, she said to ask my counselor.
Once the group started I asked the counselor about the bill and she said that she doesn't handle any of the finances. Great. 3 people who don't know what the fuck is going on or why I'm being billed. After wasting the group's time for several minutes more I finally got the counselor to agree to walk me over to the supervisor at the end of group to talk to him.
The group itself went how most of them do: loosely sticking to the topic of alcohol with some joking around and shooting the shit thrown in for good measure. The paperwork and administrative nonsense to deal with is annoying but the groups themselves aren't bad; sometimes even fun.
There are only 8 people in this particular group and one of them is this really hot girl who sat next to me and made a good deal of eye contact. I'm going to try to put the moves on her. How cool would that be?
"So where'd you two meet?"
"Our 18 month alcohol program."
We filled out a worksheet about goals regarding our family as it relates to our completion of the program and drinking in general. The funny thing is that one of the questions asks you to define 3 goals. Then the next question asks about your progress. My answer to that one was, "I have yet to make progress on the goals I just set."
At the end of group the counselor took me over to the supervisor. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail but the bill was basically due to transferring out and then back in. When you transfer out, they credit you for any activities paid for but not completed. Then when you transfer in, they bill you for whatever it is you have remaining. But in this case, they were crediting me at the old program rate and charging me at the new program rate. And since the program cost has gone up since I enrolled, that's where the extra money due was coming from.
I calmly told the supervisor that I didn't think it was fair to credit me at one rate and charge me at another. He said that he would talk to his supervisor and get back to me.
He called me the next day and said that they're willing to credit me at the new rate as well so my balance is back to $0 now. Sweet. Hopefully that will be the last of the little administrative surprises to take care of.
4 more groups to go. |
| Sunday, June 27, 2010 - Ignition Interlock Device Experience 1 | link to this entry | I've had the breathalyzer in my car for about two months now. It works pretty well for the most part. You have to blow through it for a few seconds, then blow and hum at the same time for another 7 seconds or so. It's a little picky about the humming--it has to be a relatively high pitch and of a decent volume. I assume the humming is an additional way of making sure it's a person blowing through the device and not compressed air or something.
The training video for the device says that it beeps you while driving in random intervals of about 5 - 15 minutes to re-test. In my experience so far, the intervals vary more like from 2 - 30 minutes. It also doesn't seem completely random (and technically, most random number generators aren't purely random anyway but that's a whole 'nother can o' worms). It tends to follow a pattern of:
1. Initial test to start the car.
2. Re-test after about 5 minutes.
3. Re-test after about 30 minutes.
It seems like short intervals between re-tests are always followed by long intervals.
I got over most of the embarrassment of having the device within the first couple weeks. I'm still a little uncomfortable if someone is right by my car when I start it up, but for the most part I don't really care. I think in another few months I won't even think about it anymore.
One annoying thing is when the device beeps for a re-test just as you arrive at your destination. But it's really only a 30 second delay or so. I can live with that.
I've also been having a little fun with it while driving. 99% of the time I have music playing in my car so when I get beeped to re-test while driving, I hum in the same key as whatever song is on and pretend I'm playing a breathalyzer solo.
Two other convenient things about the device are:
1. It's pretty easy to hear. Even with my music turned up it's not hard to hear it beep. If you have a badass aftermarket system (which I don't) then it may be difficult to hear but I think for most stock systems it shouldn't be a problem.
2. There's a 6-minute countdown timer when you get beeped to re-test. For the first two minutes it beeps every 15 seconds or so. Then it starts beeping every 5 seconds. It's nice to have a little bit of time to delay the re-test if I happen to not be in the most convenient location while driving. |
| Friday, June 18, 2010 - OHS Re-Entry 1 | link to this entry | I think I jinxed myself with the "smooth sailin'" comment. I arrived at OHS on a Friday evening actually excited to begin the last leg of this program. I only had Monday or Friday evenings to choose from for the Re-entry groups and I chose Friday since it was a later time.
I saw a guy who was in my regular group sessions and started the program a few weeks before me. That was cool. We chatted a bit before the re-entry group got started.
"I have some bad news," was the counselor's initial statement to the group. He then went on to explain that due to "personnel issues" they would be cancelling the Friday evening class. I assume "personnel issues" means the counselor decided "Uhh, yeah.. I don't want to give up my Friday nights." We were all given the choice to enroll in one of 4 other group times. Unfortunately, they all started at either 10am or 5pm.
I just started a new job and can't make any of those times. I wasn't the only one in the position of having a scheduling conflict either. Even 6pm I could make, but not 5pm.
The counselor went around the room asking for people's preference. When he got to me I just told him I can't make any and would be transferring to the Oakland office. I don't know exactly what groups they have available but it's the main office for this county and I know they have more groups available than at this branch office.
We spent about 40 minutes of the hour just going through paperwork and group times for people. I thought they started everyone in the group at the same time but it was one guy's last re-entry group and a couple of other people were in the middle of them.
The handout for the group was a short questionnaire regarding how our self-esteem has improved as a result of changes we've made during the course of the program. Loaded question much? I just wrote, "N/A. My self-esteem was never low prior to, or during, this program."
The counselor went around the room asking people about their answers but we ran out of time halfway through everyone (which was about 15 people total). I was in the half that wasn't called upon.
After the group was over I spent some time with the counselor and his boss filling out the transfer paperwork. They said they would waive the transfer fee since it wasn't my fault that the class was cancelled. That was nice. I forget how much the transfer fee is but I don't think it's all that outrageous anyway.
Hopefully everything works out with the transfer. I don't really mind if it delays my program end date. I have my license and that was the main goal anyway. I just need to knock off these last 5 re-entry groups now. |
| Tuesday, May 18, 2010 - OHS Face-to-Face 26 | link to this entry | The counselor was a little late to tonight's face-to-face but once we got going it was a pretty quick meeting. We already did the paperwork for the re-entry groups so he just asked the usual questions and verified that I have everything else completed, which I do.
So at this point I'm done with everything required except the 6 re-entry groups. I also finally paid off the program this month (about $1700 total). Smooth sailin' from here! |
| Saturday, May 15, 2010 - AA Meeting 44 | link to this entry | I finished out my AA meetings at another Saturday meeting. Wet brain guy was there this morning. I was sitting across from him and overheard him talking with a woman next to him. He seems more lucid than in past meetings. Good for him.
The speaker was a young woman. She grew up in Utah but wasn't Mormon. She said that she felt out of placed and "always felt like something was missing." She essentially filled in the gap with alcohol from the time she was a teenager. She claimed that from the time she began drinking it was full bore: chugging hard liquor, blackouts, etc. She had a number of hospitalizations and arrests before finally getting sober.
There are some common threads in the stories the speakers have but their personal and family backgrounds vary quite a bit. I think it's pretty commonly known that if you're parents are alcoholics then you're pre-disposed to be one as well. But it's definitely not the case that if your parents are not alcoholics then you're safe from becoming one. I guess that's a pretty obvious statement from a logical standpoint since it has to start somewhere, but actually hearing first-hand accounts that prove it are worth noting.
A lot of people related to the speaker's story and shared the parallels the rest of the meeting.
Done with all AA meetings! |
| Saturday, May 08, 2010 - AA Meeting 43 | link to this entry | I went to another Saturday meeting this morning. The speaker was a middle-aged guy whose speaking style was pretty fluid. I wouldn't say he rambled, but he also didn't really plan out his monologue. He seemed to just kind of talk about things as they came to him.
He basically started drinking and doing drugs from a fairly young age. He spoke about his time being homeless and how he attempted to get sober a couple of times. One early morning around 4am he woke up--or, rather, came to--under a tree on a local college campus. He said it was strange in that for a moment he could think very clearly and basically thought, "This has to stop." That ultimately launched his current sobriety.
After the speaker finished, the topic he chose was just "whatever". And that's what people spoke about. I wasn't really paying that much attention. I'm starting to mentally check out with my required meetings almost finished.
I noticed wet brain guy was not in attendance.
One more meeting! |
| Tuesday, May 04, 2010 - OHS Face-to-Face 25 | link to this entry | Somehow I got off on my count here of face-to-face sessions. I have 4/20 noted as my 24th face-to-face but I went to one on 4/27 and then tonight's on 5/4 and have one more to do. Either one of the counselors failed to mark down a face-to-face, or I got overzealous in my event writing. The former seems more likely, especially given that I slack off a little on writing these up as it is and I don't think I would have written an extra one.
Anyway, last week and this week were the same typical face-to-faces. Same questions, same answers, blah, blah, blah.
The face-to-face this week was a little different, however, in that the counselor went over the paperwork with me to get put in a re-entry group. They only have re-entry groups at this particular location on Monday mornings, Monday evenings, and Friday evenings. I was going to go with Monday evening but it was a little too early (the height of rush hour). So I ended up opting for Friday evening since it's a bit later and after rush hour subsides. I don't really like giving up some Fridays but it's only once a month for an hour so fuck it. That's another thing: For some reason I was thinking the re-entry groups were two hours long but they're just one hour. Sweet.
The counselor didn't give a lot of detail regarding how re-entry works but he did say that each week is a different topic--kind of like the education classes--and we go through some sort of handout or activity. So at this point I have 2 more AA meetings and 1 more face-to-face in two weeks. Then it's 6, 1 hour, once-a-month re-entry groups and I'm finished. Hellz yes. |
| Saturday, May 01, 2010 - AA Meeting 42 | link to this entry | I went to a Saturday meeting today. They're my favorite ones to go to when it's not a chip meeting. I like listening to the speakers' stories and the lack of reading aloud ability at the mid-week book meetings grates on my nerves.
It was a busy meeting as Saturdays often are. The speaker was a disabled woman who is a regular and has chaired meetings in the past. I think I've seen her at almost every meeting I've attended at this location.
Her story was a little different than some of the ones you usually hear. She spoke about how her parents barely drank, they were married several decades and never divorced, and how she was brought up not to drink, almost to the point of looking down on alcohol. She didn't start drinking until college age or so and it wasn't until she married an alcoholic that her alcoholism escalated. She didn't really speak in great detail of her own problems or progression of her drinking. Ironcially, she spoke more about not drinking than drinking. I was a little disappointed about that as I like hearing the crazy drunken stories.
When the speaker was finished, the topic she picked was "gratefulness". People went around the room talking about how they're grateful for the program, their new lease on life, their job stability, etc. People gave too much credit to their "higher power" in my opinion but to each his own.
Strangely enough, I was thinking at the beginning of the meeting that I haven't seen wet brain guy in a while and then he strolled in a little after the meeting got started. Towards the end of the meeting he spoke a bit about how he's had some relapses lately. He tends to ramble but said that he would basically go 5 days without drinking and then 5 days of binging, wash, rinse, repeat. Apparently he got himself a girlfriend but now that's on the outs because of his problem. He said he's started taking Antabuse* and has newfound dedication, with the help of the drug, of course, to beat his addiction. Good luck to him.
(* - For anyone not familiar, Antabuse is a medicine you can take that makes you violently ill if you consume any alcohol while the drug is in your system.)
Two more AA meetings left! |
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - AA Meeting 41 | link to this entry | I went to another meeting this morning. Since it was a Tuesday meeting there was no book study or speaker. The secretary was one of the regulars but it was his first time running a meeting. They seem to be hurting for regular secretaries at the mid-week meetings.
The secretary asked for topic suggestions and another regular chimed in with "Don't take yourself so seriously". He seems like a jolly kind of guy and was making the point that there's no need to make the program so serious. Not that it's not a serious topic for people or that sobriety or alcoholism should be taken lightly, but there's no reason why a person can't have fun along the way during their recovery.
When people were sharing, they basically agreed with the premise. And after listening to several people, common themes appeared that have been reflected in past meetings. A lot of the people at these meetings tend to be a little overly sensitive, or take themselves too seriously, or lack self-esteem, or have no esteem-boosting activities in their lives, or all of the above. These aren't my judgments, but a summary of things people have admitted about themselves.
A number of people who have a lot of sober time seem to be relatively well-adjusted. But they confess to certain shortcomings like those listed above that have helped pave the way to where they are now. Stuff like this is an example of things that anyone could take away from AA, not just people who have problems with alcohol. I guess it's somewhat basic, and definitely general, but I think most people can improve their lives by not taking themselves, and things around them, so seriously. Don't sweat the small stuff. |
| Thursday, April 22, 2010 - AA Meeting 40 | link to this entry | I went to a Thursday meeting since this Saturday is a chip meeting and I wanted to avoid it. Also, I want to get a second one in before my next face-to-face so going to one today and one early next week will space them out a little more (not that it really matters much at this point with the current counselor).
At the meeting we read from Living Sober, which is a book that basically has a bunch of short chapters with tips on how to not drink. It focuses a lot on not taking that first drink and the whole "one day at a time" concept. One tip offered is to just delay that first drink. It will still be there whenever you need it, but try delaying it for 24 hours or 12 hours or even 5 minutes. Then at the end of the time period, see if you can delay it further. I think it's actually a pretty practical tip for people who want to give up drinking. It breaks down quitting into manageable steps rather than the more intimidating "NO MORE DRINKS FOREVER (MWA HA HA HAAAAAA!)".
We read a chapter in Living Sober this morning that focuses on the progressiveness of the "disease" of alcoholism. The idea that it's not uncommon for an alcoholic to think he can handle his drinking and just watch it steadily get worse.
To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention much at this meeting. I'm starting to kind of mentally check out of the program as a whole. Not that I bought into everything said, and I'm not giving up drinking and following the AA program anyway, but this past year has all been focused on the end goal of getting my license. Now that I have that (and have the temporary distraction of reveling in my newfound liberation) the rest of these meetings are just final hurdles to surmount.
4 more AA meetings to go. |
|
